Attachment Friendly? Feedback please

After having a very negative experience centering around a complete lack of understanding on the part of a school it led us to thinking what are the issues and how can we help.  From those thoughts the idea for some kind of ‘attainable’ attachment aware school award was born: This award is intended to be easily achievable and based on a schools intentions rather than ‘hoops to jump through’ and checklists of evidence to collect.  It is also not the intention to ‘name and shame’ but to celebrate.  Adoptive families can feel very alone and isolated but a school, an understanding and approachable school, can make all the difference for the children and the family – it is this the award hopes to mark and celebrate.  In addition, we hope that this site will become a ‘one-stop-shop’ as it collates resources, anecdotes, and advice to help support schools and families.  However we need your help to do this please comment or contact us with your resources or sites that you have found helpful and supportive.  If you have access to any research, or trainers/courses you can recommend then again please let us know.  Finally help us to make this site worth while visiting, contact us with your thoughts for improvements and amendments.

At the moment the website has been published but the award is closed to applicants whilst we gain vital feedback.  Please share this site with your friends and colleagues so that feedback and resources can be received.


Sticky Face: 4 Silly Games to Build Attachment Through Play

Herding Chickens and Other Adventures in Foster and Adoptive Care


Having a face full of stickers may be one of the best things I’ve done to build attachment with my littlest chickens. Bonding and attachment can be very difficult for the adopted child after suffering abuse and/or neglect in their biological home. Our chickens needed to form attachments to their caregivers (us) in much the same way that infants do. They need eye-contact. They need skin-to-skin contact. They need to build a wealth of positive experiences to associate with their caregiver. They need to learn reciprocity of emotion and expression. The following are 4 silly games we’ve made up to play with our chickens. Laughter and play are the best ways to attach and fall in love with your kiddos!

1. Sticky Face

This is a game we made up with a spinner but you could also make your own playing cards on index cards etc. You will also need…

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Pupil Premium Plus & School Training

As adoptive parents we seem to have to fight all oncomers to get our children all they need and deserve. This blig us an excellent example.

The Family of 5's Journey

There’s been quite a few things going on in school lately, I might blog about some of the specifics another time but the biggest change right now is that our head teacher has announced they’re leaving soon. This left me feeling unsure of who to talk about certain matters that I wished to discuss. After a telephone chat with the head teacher we decided that the best plan is that I should put together a letter that could be presented to the board of govenors at their next finance meeting with regard to the Pupil Premium Plus and all other matters could be discussed directly with class teachers, I do have some other things that are not appropriate to discuss with class teachers but I also feel it would be somewhat pointless to discuss these with a head teacher that is leaving, so those matters I will mentally shelf until…

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Secondary Trauma in Adoptive Families

Secondary trauma is debilitating at times. We experience it frequently and it’s only by supporting each other and recognising each others need that we keep on top of self care. Bring on the coffee and crunchy toast.

The Family of 5's Journey

This is a really great article and the more of it I read, the more I understood and the more. I felt validated.

“Regular exposure to their child’s trauma leaves parents vulnerable to secondary trauma.”

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Pupil Premium Plus

We have had a very negative experience of PP+ and our children have not benefitted at all especially as a huge chunk of PP subsidised a trip for just 17 children. Our VSH doesn’t monitor money of adopted children, yet. We keep our fingers crossed things improve.

The Family of 5's Journey

The government announced recently the introduction of the new ‘Pupil Premium Plus’.

Children in care have previously attracted pupil premium funding at the same rate as children from low-income families, but in future they will attract a higher rate of funding – the pupil premium plus. From April next year, children in care will attract £1,900 additional funding per pupil, more than double the £900 awarded in 2013 to 2014.

In addition, this support will now reach more children. At the moment, children in care attract the pupil premium if they have been looked after for 6 months or more, but in future they will be funded from their first day in care.

For the first time, children adopted from care and those who leave care under a special guardianship order or residence order will also attract the pupil premium plus.

So, great news, the needs of Looked After…

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Virtual Schools – An Adopters Guide

A must read. Please share and re blog and help things improve for the better.

Gareth Marr

Let’s be honest here. What a weird name for a school. So it’s virtual? It doesn’t exist then? It has Virtual School Head Teachers. What are they? The undead slipping invisibly in and out of students lives? I met one in January 2013 and by April had been initiated into the virtual world as a school governor. I have now lived in this other reality for over 12 months. It is strange world with a strange language populated by some who know and care well and some who know and are busy and some who do both and are angels on earth. Virtual Schools are there to help vulnerable children, so it is important that these children and their carers are kept confused and the schools keep working in the shadow world. (“Stop it Gareth, that is unfair and you know it, there are some really good people out there…

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